Keeping Your ERA 0.00: A How-To Guide by the Sox Offense

Bartolo Colon allowed 5 runs, and once again was told he didn’t earn all of them thanks to an error by Betemit. But you can’t blame 4-eyes: Blame Ozzie for putting him in the game and keeping him there. No matter how badly Josh Fields is hitting, Betemit is not the answer. In fact, the only time Betemit is the answer is when there is more than one injury in the infield, so that Jayson Nix is busy.

“If you’re so high and mighty,” you might say, “Who would you bring in the game while Josh Fields is tucking his tail between his legs?” Well, Andy Phillips is an option. He only hit .231 over 78 at-bats during his previous crack at the MLB, but what are the odds of him being as big a butcher at bat and on the field as Betemit is?

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame Betemit for anything more than his lack of superstar player ability. Colon should have pitched over the error, and kept the hits to a minimum. Once 5 runs totaled up and the Sox offense went on strike, everyone gave up. Ozzie gave up on defense and left Betemit in, left Wise in the lineup until the 8th, and after Colon went down, let Gobble, the Running Joke, pitch for a couple of innings. And while we’re at it, the Sox as a whole should be able to handle a youngster in his major-league debut and scare him back to the minors!

Whistler made his debut today in the 9th. He might as well, right? He did well, but one inning isn’t going to tell us everything just yet.

On the bright side, other than Minnesota, pretty much everyone in our division lost today and kept things about the same. To be honest, I had switched the channel most of the time and watched the Cubs-Braves game just so I wouldn’t have to watch the painful last few innings.

Speaking of the Braves, they could really rival the Indians in political-wrongness. I mean, the music they play in the background makes me worry for the safety of the players! Every time it comes on, I half-expect a gaggle of shirtless men in leather pants and feathery headdresses to run out with tomahawks and carrying teepees on their backs...