We Didn't Start the Fire (Just Yet): A Sox - Cubs World Series?

Those clever sports writers got me again! I admit, this is my own fault for being nosey and obsessive, but come on! Here I am, trying to get the scoop on Crede before the trade deadline (Will it be Josh Fields? Will it be Crede? Will they wait ‘till the offseason? Will they show him the money, or will I have to be loyal to two teams every year? I can’t take the pressure!) and instead of facts, helpful quotes, predictions, or even hints about whether Crede will be on the field at all tonight, I gets this lovely gem. Two paragraphs lodged between mindless chatter about the All-Star Game.

Third baseman Joe Crede was diplomatically answering questions about his future in Chicago while basking in the glow of his first All-Star appearance and dreaming of a World Series between his White Sox and the Cubs.

"It would definitely be really awesome," Crede said. "It would be great for the city and great for baseball in general. You can see the passion for the game in the intracity series during the season. It's always fun to play in a playoff atmosphere like that, a World Series atmosphere. I think it would be the neatest thing you could have in baseball."

-The Chicago Tribune

Well, to begin, this is completely misleading and tells me nothing about Crede’s future with the Sox. In fact, this is not even related to the All-Star Game! And as to what it says… No, thanks, Joe Crede! I don’t think that would be “the neatest thing.” Unless Joe is out of his mind and in fact planning to get the hell out of Chicago before the riots ensue, I’m sure he was pressured into giving a diplomatic answer about this nightmare of an idea.

There are a lot of things that make me cringe. Joe Crede at bat in July. Swisher in center field. Toby Hall in general. Lately, I’ve been flinching at the much-hinted-at idea of an All-Chicago World Series. Worse is the speculation. No one needs three months of this nervous anticipation for such an ominous event. Of all the awful ideas I’ve ever heard, this one takes the cake.

Cub fans know the sting of having “2005 World Series Champs” stamped on the shirts of our team, while they take pride in calling their team the Lovable Losers. Clearly, they’re out for revenge. They’re angry, they’re scorned, they’re bitter, and they’re looking for a chance to get bragging rights. Now, imagine these same fans faced with a win. Knock on wood, I know, but play along. It would be easy to deflect a WS win by the Cubs, by simply saying that we had the trophy in our case first this millennium. However, we’ve experienced a Cubs sweep this year and know how relentless Cubs fans are. That may not be enough.

If the Cubs were to –knock on wood again- win the WS against the Sox, you would have to imagine that Lou Pinella himself would pay for a golden trophy replica the size of the Sears Tower to be made and displayed at Wrigley in the honor of a WS win. Possibly paired with a statue of Ozzie crying as a companion. And have I mentioned that the Tribune owns the Cubs, therefore our news channels would be plagued by endless blue bears and red C’s? If the Cubs wouldn't make it, they'd get a pat on the back for having the first great season in quite some time. If the Sox would win, we would be deemed undeserving. I gotta go with Ozzie on this one; we get no respect! Could you imagine those 4-7 painful days in Chicago? Every house would have a different colored flag displayed, riots would happen during every one of the final games- not to mention the deciding match. Are you imagining Wrigley or U.S. Cellular on fire? Any victory parade in the honor of either team would be a reason for celebration and the bomb squad. Clearly, it would be the stuff of Nostradamus.

It wasn’t until we were swept by the Cubs that this began to be a problem. Then, the Sox swept the Cubs right back, only to aggravate the speculation. The Sox and Cubs may be worthy opponents, but a Sox-Cubs World Series certainly isn’t worth the tension and hate. And while I’m hoping that the Sox go to the World Series without their North Side counterparts, can we at least save the speculation for October? No use crying over spilt milk, right? Especially if the cow hasn’t even been milked. I call for a cease-fire and… cease-article on all things Sox – vs. Cubs. Let’s not worry about the Cubs just yet. After all, they’ll be Completely Useless By September.