A Love-Hate Relationship with Nick Swisher

If you ask me which one of the Sox is my favorite player, you know I’m going to yell out “Joe Crede!” and go on a twenty-minute spree of gushing and spewing facts about the guy, but the truth is that picking a favorite Sox player is like picking a favorite number. Are you supposed to have one? But, for reasons that cannot be explained, everyone has one (both a player and number). I say the reasons are unexplained because there isn’t anyone on the Sox that stands out in terms of average, home runs, or ERAs (if pitchers are the kind of thing you’re intro), you just have different clusters. It really comes down to personality on the field, in pictures, in interviews, or if you’ve ever stalked one of them on the streets (you see him, take a picture, he says something nice and he’s instantly your favorite, in case you didn’t catch my drift). In terms of personality, who don’t I love on that team? (Well, I could tell you who, but there would be an uprising of fans, and I have to bite my tongue until he has a bad week.) In terms of this, I have to say, I’m quite a big fan of Nick Swisher.

Ah, yes. Nick Swisher. Number 30. Batting around .236. Playing first base until Paulie gets back. Usually in center field. Oh, that guy! He has a heart of gold, in case you haven’t noticed. He grew his hair and cut it off and donated it in the memory of his grandmother, painted his goatee pink for breast cancer awareness during mother’s day, and heads Swish’s Wishes. Have you ever seen a commercial with Swisher in it? If he holds up a sign that says “To Dye For,” does the worm, shoots off imaginary guns, or holds up a sign that says “Vazkkkez,” you are watching Nick Swisher’s big personality. He even has personality in his sideburns (yup, sometimes he has lightning bolts hanging by his ears), hosts a radio show, and sometimes does T.V. Are you in love with him yet? Because, for the ladies, I accidentally discovered a shirtless picture of him, so that might help you out a little. He's so nice and lovable, I feel bad even thinking about what I have to write in the next paragraph.

So, here he is! Nick Swisher, up at bat, Crede on deck. One out, takes first pitch ball, second pitch is a strike, third pitch is a ball, fourth pitch he has contact, and the ball is… a high pop up to shortstop Whoever McOtherTeam. So, now, he is officially 0-for-4, setting the stage with two outs for Joe Crede. Yes, the man loves to break my heart whenever he’s up at bat. He and Crede struggled together, but when Crede shook off his slump, Swisher was still behind. He shakes his head in disbelief as he strikes out, you shake your head in disbelief, the other team rejoices because now morale is low and the pressure is even higher for Swish and for the next guys at bat. There were days where I would pray to see Brian Anderson in the field, so that we wouldn’t be forced to suffer through another 2-6 painful pitches to Swish. "Seriously, get that man away from any bats!" I would think.

One day, some guy pretending to be Nick Swisher comes up to bat and plays first base for Konerko (might I add, brilliantly), and brings up Swish’s average. That guy’s been batting .308 in the last 30 days. This same guy had 2 grand slams within 4 days, and doubled both his home runs and RBIs in June. He's even had a couple of days where he hit two home runs in one game- from both sides of the plate! Sure, it’s been on and off, but that average can only go up from where it was. So, do I love Nick Swisher, the batter, now? Is he going to break in a new era where I don’t cringe every time he’s up against a pitcher? Well, I sure hope so.