Who Cares?

Bobby Jenks hurt his calf and is out for the season. He pulled his muscle during some pre-game workout. Wait a second! Bobby Jenks doesn’t work out! CONSPIRACY! Jerry Reinsdorf wants to move the Sox to Florida so he’s assembled the worst team possible! Who cares?

Jake Peavy made his debut on the South Side and picked up his first win. It wasn’t what I would call the strongest of outings, but, really, Who cares?

Gavin Floyd is out for the year (I think) with a hip injury. This puts the Sox out another starter, but… Who cares?

Daniel Hudson made his first official debut with the Sox. He didn’t fare too badly, and the Sox Machine has full coverage of that. With a little more work, he could be the answer the Sox are searching for. But, at this point in the season, who cares?

Jermaine Dye is batting .135 in September. After batting .189 in August. What in the world is keeping his batting average at a prominent .248? Well, a very strong .329 in June. With Jermaine reaching the end of the last year of his contract, it seems like he’s not making a very strong case for his return. I blame him for not making things more interesting for me. At this point, I should be pacing, wondering what the Sox outfield will look like next year, who will take over the DH hole that Thome left, will Alex Rios be a permanent fixture, will Kenny have the $1 to spent next year. And instead, I’m thinking… Who Cares?

I’m trying to care. I really am. I’m even holding out hope for Gordon Beckham to claim the Rookie of the Year Award. And for the return of Scotty Pods. Who is still batting .303 despite the rest of the Sox having scored something like 2 runs over the last 6 months. That seems like a completely accurate statistic, right? So, I stopped doing research. Do you care? Did someone say, “Yes!”? Who? WHO cares!?

DEAR GOD! THESE WHITE SOX HAVE TURNED ME INTO JOE COWLEY! … Who cares?

And here's a question for the public: What's the opposite of "clinching"?