Thursday, August 21, 2008

What Wikipedia Can Teach You About The Sox

In the last few years, I’ve found out that the use of Wikipedia is more and more frowned upon. It’s famous for letting users add information, which makes it less reliable. But, c’mon, what’s reliable nowadays, right? Anyway, one thing led to another and I found myself on Wikipedia and what started as a quick search on Pierzynski (couldn't tell you what I was looking for anymore...) turned into a scavenger hunt of fun facts. Here are some of my favorites.

About A.J.: “During a 2004 Spring Training game, while catching, Pierzynski took a pitch to the groin and fell instantly to the ground in pain. Trainer Stan Conte rushed from the dugout to his side and immediately inquired, "how does it feel?" AJ responded directly by saying, "like this" and kneed Conte in the groin, dropping him to the ground.” Note to self: reference this incident every chance you get.

About Javi: “He was nicknamed ‘The Silent Assassin.’” [Obvious fart joke.]

About Bobby Jenks: “In all of baseball, only C. C. Sabathia and Jonathan Broxton are listed at heavier weights.” Don’t men always say they like a little junk in the trunk? It’s all part of his sex appeal…

About Toby Hall: “Hall has a tendency to dye his soul patch different colors to mark specific occasions.” The use of the word “tendency” makes it seems as if it’s not intentional. (Used in a sentence: Joe Crede has a tendency to pop out to third base.) “Well, I meant to shave, but I accidentally bleached my goatee. I have a tendency to confuse my razor with hair dye I bought at the store.”

About Paulie: “He also sang in the Konerko Trio along with brothers, Trace & Haus.” Is there video footage of this?

Juan U-Ribe: “three children: Juan Luis, Juanny, and Janny.” With such similar names, don’t you wonder if even the kids think, “Which one am I again?” every now and then?

About TCQ: “Angels center fielder Torii Hunter characterized his pure power as ‘tremendous pop, like Hulk Hogan.’” Hulk Hogan? Perhaps he could take over in CF now that Wise is injured.

About Ehren Wasserman: “Sold knives in between attending tryouts after graduating from college.” Did anyone else imagine him doing this informercial? [Miracle Blade III] I can even cut through a pineapple in mid-air.

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