A Modest Proposal: An Editorial

The plague of my spring has been Mark Teahen. I’ve never liked him when he was on the Royals. He was just too big of a thorn in my side. When the Sox acquired him, I wasn’t excited, but I figured I’d make my final judgment after I gave him a chance.

Well, here is my final judgment: Even if his hitting turns around, save me a headache and get that kid away from third base. I’m not sure who believed the Sox PR person when he said Teahen was a defensive improvement, or a true third baseman because I sure didn’t. And I figured, alright, he probably has more experience on third than Gordon Beckham does, but that’s not saying much. In fact, I thought Beckham did a better job on third than I’ve seen Teahen do his entire career. In fact, I don’t remember many games when Teahen was on third. I remember Alex Gordon on third (who was like a Royal version of Chris Getz), and I remember Teahen… in the outfield, perhaps? (In fact, in April at least, Alex Gordon was back on third for the Royals, but hitting a Teahen-like, miserable .194.)

Regardless, I have a modest proposal. Let’s eat Mark Teahen. No, sorry, I was thinking of the wrong Modest Proposal. My proposal is that Mark Teahen and Gordon Beckham trade places. At least temporarily. If a disaster strikes, move them back, but at least for awhile, let Beckham try his hand at third. If for no other reason than that Teahen looks about as good on third as Josh Fields did. (And we all know how I feel about Josh Fields…) For Pete’s sake, he’s made a “team-best” 8 errors on third this year. While last year, in 107 games on third base, he made 11. We can’t have this, especially with the likes of Buehrle on the mound.

I believe that it was Jim at Sox Machine who mentioned the most cringe-worthy phrase of the season: "Ball gets by Teahen." And boy, do we hear that a whole lot! Until Teahen has a training session with Joey Cora or a move is made, I will stick with my nickname for Teahen: "A Little Tardy".